Holy fucking shit!

I'm fuckin' annoyed and in need of a workout to let off steam! I hate how people don't believe in me. Making fun of me about it just simply makes wanna hurt you. Intentional or not, people need to know that's my pet peeve and I will not.. scratch that NEVER tolerate it. So please, to those who are reading this... Don't do it. You don't want to see me annoyed nonetheless being angry.

Here we are.

It's almost a year since the last time I blogged. Shoot. Time flies I guess? Right now, I'm inside my room in Camp Casey, South Korea. Just a year ago I was back in California getting ready to ship off to Fort Benning, Ga. Anyways, I passed Basic Training, went and "learned" my job at AIT and now I'm in Korea doing whatever I need to do. Lost almost all connections to the people I talked to in High School. 2 of them kept in contact. One out of the two is starting drift away also. But! the people that I barely knew in High School I keep in touch with. Crazy? yeah. Also, I lost the flabs and gaining muscle along the way. Previously my goal was to be the fastest runner but training to run fast gets boring at times. Before that I wanted to build muscle and work solely on strength. Now, I want to become flexible and able to overcome obstacles and use the environment as a playground. What I mean by that is I want to be a freerunner. I want to do parkour/acrobatics. I just want to do something. Anything. To get away. If you know Nightwing from DC comics, he's pretty much what I want to be like. Not because he's an acrobat or he could do parkour and all that shit, it's because when he was young, his parents died while performing on a trapeze during a show. He was taken in my Bruce Wayne ( Batman ) and trained him to be Robin when Bruce found out that Dick Grayson ( Nightwing ) knew that Bruce Wayne was Batman. My life was like that pretty much but instead of my parents being gone, they were fighting most of the time all my life and not being there for me during my childhood hence them being "dead". Dick Grayson didn't become Robin forever, hell no he didn't. He retired as Robin and became his own self.. being NIGHTWING and moved to a city worse than Gotham called Blüdhaven. I can also relate to that.. I retired being a "helpless" guy and joined the military. Right now, I'm still learning and finding "myself"...


Hopefully I do.

Get these motherfuckers off of me!

2 days more before I ship out. I'm so excited. I haven't slept in 3 days. Holy fucking shit. Can't wait! Also, my phone is blowing up with calls and messages that it lagged the shit out of it. Damn people. I can't spend time with all of you at the same time. So what I'm gonna do is... turn off my phone and leave without it. hahah, just kidding. Don't worry, I'll spend time with you. If not, I'm sorry. HA! GAAAAAAAAAAAYY!

Oh wells.

4 more months left. The girl I like so much might like my friend. I have this gut feeling. My gut is always right. I'm feeling down. I feel like I wanna give up life... but I can't do that. I will never do that.  "I will never quit." is always on my mind.  but I don't wanna fall in love again.  It hurts. BAD. I'm scared but I'm not showing it. Is she worth it? Is she worth waiting for? I don't know. I might never know. But I want to. I just can't do it without thinking ahead about the consequences. I don't know anymore. Everytime I see her with my friend, I always feel jealous but I can't do anything about it. Damn it, why is it so hard?

Everything changed.

You were right Jomar. About everything. Even my friends changed. I know you warned me but I ignored you about it. I should have known. They caught me off guard. Son of a bitch. People do change. Even though they don't show it but they will..sooner or later. Now I'm alone with no one to talk to, no one who knows what I've been through.  They changed so much that it's not even for the better. They lost their sense of value. Now I know what you're talking about. That's why you left everyone you knew. Now I know. So everything was planned since Junior year. Now I'm about to do the same.  Just a couple of months more and I'm out of here. Finally. I need a fresh start. Bad. This place is so out of control that I don't even want to deal with anymore. I just got to focus for a couple of months. Leave everyone. Start fresh. Help family. THAT'S IT. Nothing more. Nothing less. Everyone who's reading this, I'm sorry but you're one of them. The way you look at me because of this, I could care less. I will remain neutral though. I will not talk about this. This is what I experienced. You might say otherwise but like what I said.. I could care less.

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but...

I think my friends are drifting away from me. Either they are doing it purposely or I've been so busy that time did its thing. But even though I've been busy they should at least hit me up when plans are made.  Let me know if I want to come or not. Just because I've been flaking or denying plans does not mean I don't like hanging with you guys. I've always had a legitimate reason for flaking and whatnot. My time is divided between school, job, and family. Notice I don't have "friends" as a category yet. It's cause I don't have time. The only time I do have time for zee homies is when one of those categories decide to back their plans down on the last minute. Leaving me alone like that just makes me want to beg my recruiter to make my ship date earlier than before. Zamn, cold people out there.

Things I learned today..

Never try to jailbreak your iphone without the necessary back-ups and files you need in case things aren't going as planned.. I was so excited to jailbreak my iphone just to play pokemon that I got careless and just went right in. I failed since I don't have the necessary files so the phone is sorta broken. It won't even turn on. So I was offline today. I fixed it now though. It's faster than how it performed before the whole shenanigans happened. So I guess it's a lose-win situation.
With that being said, you always gotta be prepared in life. You will never know what will happen in the future. There's nothing wrong with being prepared. It's helluva lot better than looking like an idiot when an unexpected event hits you right off your feet. I have to learn that too. Since I'm preparing for it, I can't be looking like I don't know what's expected. I need to make sure that before I leave, I'm already prepared and at least have an idea what I'm going to face since it's the obstacle than blocks me from what I am now and what I am in the future.  Do I feel pressured? Yes.  Scared? Just a little bit. Motivated? ABSOLUTELY. Now, let's do this hooah?